It's the struggle I had as a hurt mom to answer as truthful, honest and lovingly as I could.
I explained things happen, things we don't want to happen, things happen for reasons that only God knows.
I held him as I swallowed my tears saying "God say's in His word 'My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways, yet as the heavens are higher than the earth so are the plans God has for us." (Is 55:8-9)
You can't explain hurt, pain or betrayal to a five year old. You can't explain why sin exist and why it pains so many. For a short time after the boy's dad left I couldn't even explain it to myself, there was no explanation. But as my mom would say holding me in a puddle of tears "God has a plan".
Ever thought that's not good enough? I did. It doesn't take the pain away, it doesn't make things better right there and then, so how would it be healing to my brokenhearted son?
Over time I've realized my job as his mother is not to band aid the wounds of life. It's not to shelter him from the realities of this world. My job as his mother is to guide, direct, influence, lead by example and encourage the ways of truth through love and grace. God did that with me, He didn't shelter me from a broken heart, He ALLOWED me to experience pain. And as I pained He cradled me in His arms just as I did with K today. And in that broken season I saw Him. He directed me to His word, He influenced through my loving family and friends and I saw Him through grace and love.
Lately I've witnessed a lot of grief, pain, hurt and heartache. Today I held it (pain) in my arms absent of any consoling words other than pure scripture. I didn't expect the verse to immediately change K's emotions, It was meant to nurture a seed. A seed that I have planted to show my son that no matter the defeat of hurt, pain, sorrow or failure, God is truth. Truth is our foundation for living. It is is eternal and never changing. If my son can believe in that, then I'm doing my job in giving him the tools needed to conquer the pains and suffering of this world. And in that he will be a conqueror.
Child of mine,
The pain of Daddy leaving will never go away, you will always want him to come home as any child would. But don't give up hope in your eternal father who never abandons us, He never leaves us nor forsakes us. Know that He is with you always and He will carry you through the rough waters of life. Never give up on truth, learn it and hide it in your heart so when words escape you, you can open your heart and words of hope will pour out. Love, Mommy
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