The blessing of cancer

"Cancer changes us, there's no doubt about it. But its up to us to decide what that change will mean in our lives, and who we will become as a result."-Britta Aragon

It was just last summer when we were celebrating "life" at St. Josephs Annual Fashion Show Banquet supporting cancer survivors. In particular my mom, who is in remission from ovarian cancer. 

John, my husband, had also just completed his first triathlon in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. 

He was in shape and driven, he was making bucket list of other races and traveling to do.

"Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny."-C.S. Lewis

Just a couple months later, John was having severe abdominal pain, pain that wasn't going away. After antibiotics and hospitalization we thought it was behind us, we thought he needed some dietary changes and all would be fine.

Just a couple days later the pain came back with a vengeance.  The pain, the fever, the test all showed he needed surgery. He had a tear in his intestines....what we later found out to be a cancerous baseball size mass affecting some local lymph nodes. 

"Deliberate confidence in the character of God's who's ways you many not understand at the time."-Oswald Chambers

The cancer word hit us again. The c-word hit our home and our family. Every worse possible scenario passed through both our minds. We cried, a lot, we prayed even more, we doubted, we starred blankly holding back whatever we were thinking and afraid to say. John had stage three colon cancer meaning surgery was just part of the treatment, he also needed six months of chemotherapy. 

John had chemotherapy every other week for six months. We started in December and ended in June (we had a few delays due to low counts in May). The first few treatments were unpredictable; How was he going to respond to the treatment? Would he be able to still work? Was he going to be in bed all the time?  He would get tired and feel fatigued? And, amazingly he did pretty incredible. 

It really was wonderful to see the out pour of love, support, text messages and prayers we received from so many people. God's grace was upon us and He sent many people to help us through the rough road. 

John continued to work, some days were harder and shorter than others. Family came to visit, we went to a baseball game and he was still the silly funny uncle/dad the kids always anticipated him to be. Meals were provided by family and friends, of whom we could never repay or relay how blessed we truly were by their endless love for us.

And finally the last day came, John received his chemo on Wednesdays, came home with a pump that infused over 48 hours and he returned Fridays to remove the pump and get some more medicines infused.

Last chemo infusion

 This was Friday when returned for pump removal and last bit of medicines. 

This was John's excited face to see that I had in fact brought my camera. 

Adele, our infusion nurse who wore a mask just like I had asked, and who always returned our calls and answered our endless questions.

Last day of treatment was after a morning at court. Yes, I said a morning at court. John's ability to work and live a semi-normal life was an unbelievable blessing. 

The last seven months have been both a blur and yet, I can still vividly remember so much of it. For the longest time I thought I was still in shock or that I was in a  "fight or flight" mode. But now as I reflect, I truly know I was once again carried. I was whisked away in God's strong arms who mercifully allowed cancer to touch us but not break us. 

Since 2012 the word "trust" was constantly on my heart and mind. I knew somehow and someway God was going to take me to a new level of trust, and He has. 

Today, my biggest fear is that one day we will forget this blessing of cancer. We will forget the closeness our family experienced, the sleepless nights of tears, laughter and prayer. The way I would watch John as he slept next to me and the pleasure I took in that moment. That we will forget the times when we considered our own mortality because the tender gift of life, we were slapped silly with, was a truly a gift. We were never promised a life of comforts and contentment, and Paul of the Bible could a test to that, but we were created to live a life that was Holy and acceptable to the Lord. To battle the evils of this world through the help of Holy Spirit and in that, be sanctified. 

"When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy."-Psalm 94:19

God has shown us his provisions from the get go. Never, not once did we ever feel alone. I never will forget the overwhelming love and support we received from family and friends. He used so many of you to show us His love and concern for us. This cancer was never meant to be in vain. God has and will continue to use it for the building and strengthening of His people, and we are hoping you have been a witness to that very thing.

"We often pray or sing the hymn requesting God to make us an inspiration to someone else. We want, instinctively, to be a channel of blessing to other lives. The simple fact is that just as water can only flow in a ditch or channel or valley-so in the Christian's career the life of God can only flow in blessing through the valleys that have been carved and cut into our own lives by excruciating experiences."-W. Phillip Keller 'A Shepherd looks at Psalm 23'

John still will be receiving biannual CT scans and careful monitoring by his doctors for the next five  years. Please keep us in  your prayers as we live the next five years trusting in Him.